


Prayers and Wishes

by scribbleranger93



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Faustian Bargain, Friendship, Gen, Magical Girls, Orphanage, Religion, Religious Conflict, Tragedy, what happens when you watch PMMM while also reading Jane Eyre
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 11:54:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20506574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scribbleranger93/pseuds/scribbleranger93
Summary: Homura made her wish to protect Madoka because Madoka was one of the few people she could call her best friend. What happened in her past that made her desperate enough that she'd rather give up her soul than accept a friend's death? One-shot.





	Prayers and Wishes

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to Tumblr user Takerfoxx for their advice when this story was in its early stages; it helped me a lot!

“Over here, Yuki!”

“Got it!”

Homura watched from the goal as the girls kicked the soccer ball around, wondering if they knew just how lucky they were to be so agile and fast, to not have to worry about overexerting themselves and having heart attacks. It must have been nice, to not have to think about those kinds of things, to actually be part of the crowd… To be _normal_… With her heart condition, she had been relegated to simply being the goalie. It was the easiest position during the game, maybe, but for Homura it was just another reminder that she was always a girl on the sidelines, never actually involved in anything.

“Kick it in the goal, Akemi won’t get it!” one girl cried.

“Don’t blow it, Akemi, get it!”

She saw a group of girls rushing towards her, one kicking the ball along the way. Homura readied herself, getting in position. This was it, her moment to prove that she wasn’t just the weakling in the class; she focused intently on the ball…

And suddenly imagined the blue sky turning into a red, pastel-like one glaring down at her, misshapen, humanoid figures slowly making their way towards her with menacing intent…

Her chest suddenly felt tight, her heart beating a mile a minute; knees buckling, she clutched her chest, and began ventilating, sweat falling from her forehead…

At the last minute, Homura snapped back to the present...

Just as the ball went sailing past her, hitting the net.

“Ugh, Akemi!” a few of the girls groaned.

“We’ll never win with her on the team,” someone moaned.

“It’d be better if she just didn’t even try to be in the class…”

Homura looked at all the girls glaring at her, feeling like she had been pierced by a thousand arrows like Saint Sebastian. An airy, inhuman voice seemed to whisper in her ear: _“Maybe it would be better if you did just die…”_

The bell rang, and all the girls began to make their way to the lockers, walking past Homura, ignoring her.

Well, not all of them. One slapped her on the forehead, which caught her off guard, and another stopped to utter a few words to the brunette.

“You. Damn. _Freak._”

Homura trailed behind the other girls, dragging her feet along. She didn’t even bother to look up when she heard footsteps walking next to her.

“Homura-chan?”

That voice; Homura looked up and saw Madoka Kaname standing next to her, a concerned look on her face. There were bags under her friend’s pink eyes; she was out hunting again last night, Homura realized.

“K-Kaname-san,” she said.

“You were remembering again, weren’t you?” the pink-haired girl asked.

Homura nodded, frowning. It had been days since she had wandered into that Witch’s Labyrinth while walking home; days since she had been saved by Madoka and upperclassman Mami Tomoe, days since Homura had met Kyubey and learned of the existence of Magical Girls and Witches… And yet she couldn’t shake the memory of the fear she had felt when she found herself trapped in that Labyrinth, at the mercy of the Witch and her Familiars, her legs freezing up and refusing to let her run somewhere, anywhere…

“Don’t let them get to you,” her pink-haired friend said, placing her hand on her shoulder. “They don’t know what you had to go through; you were doing your best, and that’s all that matters.”

She gave Homura a small smile, and the bespectacled brunette couldn’t help but smile back at her. They began to walk back to the locker room in step with each other, the birds chirping in the distance.

“Kaname-san?” Homura piped up.

“Hm? What is it, Homura-chan?”

“… Thank you,” she said. “For not being like the other girls.”

“No problem, Homura-chan, that’s what friends are for, right?”

_Friends._ The word stung in the transfer student’s chest. It was such an alien concept to her at this point, after spending most of the last year in the hospital. She had just met Madoka, but the girl had seemed to really take a liking to her; in fact, Homura owed her life to her, and she was enjoying having another person to talk to. It made her feel less lonely.

But, the idea that she had a new friend, someone who would be there for her, who would protect her and keep her from being sad… Homura was almost afraid to acknowledge it, for fear of having it taken away from her… Again.

“Homura-chan?”

“What…?”

“Are you okay?” Madoka asked, looking concerned. They were now close to the locker room. “You seem preoccupied with something.”

“Oh, it’s, it’s nothing, Kaname-san.” 

***  
_ “Please,” Homura said, “Give her back…!_”

_She tried to move towards the other girl, but the latter’s friends held her tightly by the arms, stopping her in her tracks. The girl in question, Eriko, stood before Homura, towering over her like a queen before a slave. Eriko was one of the many older girls in Saint Anthony’s Home, where Homura had spent the last year. From their first meeting, Homura had a feeling Eriko didn’t like her that much. And at the tender age of eight, she was in no position to fight back against a ten-year-old._

_Eriko held up one hand, Homura’s doll held in it. It was a simple doll, with a pale face and a black dress, something that had been with her for many years. “You want her back?” she said mockingly, holding it up. “If you want your precious Clara-chan back, then take her from me!”_

_Homura tried her hardest to break free from the other girls—Mai and Shiri, their names were. They were all in one of the many rooms of the orphanage that had been set aside for the children to play in. As hard as she tried, she was unable to break free. “P-please… Stop,” she said, her voice barely more than a whisper._

_“Look at her, she’s crying!” Mai said, sounding more amused than sympathetic. “She isn’t even going to try to fight back!”_

_“What a wimp,” Shiri said._

_“Just leave me alone!” Homura finally screamed. “I haven’t done anything to any of you!” She tried to force herself forward; in her movement, she hadn’t anticipated Mai and Shiri letting go, and she came crashing down at Eriko’s feet, her glasses falling off her face._

_The girls laughed at that, while Homura scrambled to her knees._

_“You’re a freak, Homura Akemi,” Eriko said. “You’re no better than the rest of us in this damn orphanage. Never forget that.”_

_“What’s going on here?” another voice cut into the scene. The other girls stopped what they were doing._

_“Fukui-san,” Eriko said, turning to the doorway. There was a tone of resentment in her voice. “It’s just you.”_

_ “Ono-san, what are you doing with Akemi-san?” the other girl asked, sounding cross. “Do I have to report you to the sisters?”_

_ There was a brief pause; then, Eriko tossed Homura’s doll onto the floor. “Let’s get out of here,” she said to Mai and Shiri._

_ “No one likes a tattle-tale, Fukui-san,” Mai muttered as they walked away._

_ “Don’t listen to them, Akemi-san. Here, let me help you,” Fukui said, taking the glasses and placing them back onto Homura. “There, better,” she said, smiling. She handed her doll back to the brunette. “Your doll is so pretty, and I love her dress.”_

_ Homura perked up a bit. She looked into the other girl’s eyes. They were dark gray, matching her hair; Aiko Fukui was also one of the girls Homura had met when she first arrived at the orphanage. Unlike the others, she had given Homura a warm welcome._

_ “Y-you shouldn’t help me,” Homura said. “If you do, they might pick on you, too…” A lot of the kids had avoided Homura as much as possible, for fear of raising the ire of Eriko and her followers._

_ “Ono-san? Ah, I wouldn’t worry too much about her,” Aiko said, helping Homura back on her feet. “She talks a big game, but she’s only brave when picking on kids who are afraid of her. If you don’t let her get to you, she’ll leave you alone…” Just as she was about to finish her words, she bent over, letting out a loud cough._

_ “Are you okay?” Homura asked, concern in her voice. The coughing went on for a while, before Aiko stood upright again._

_ “I’m fine,” she said, smiling. “Nothing to worry about. Now, how about we go get some snacks from the kitchen?”_

_ “I-is that allowed?” Homura asked._

_ “We’ll worry about that later,” Aiko said, extending her hand. “Come on, it’ll be fun!”_

_ Homura looked at Aiko’s hand, then at Aiko. “O-okay, Fukui-san” she said, giving a small smile._

_ “You can call me ‘Aiko’ if you want,” Aiko said, holding back a laugh when her comment made the girl self-conscious._

***

“Are you really not afraid for when Walpurgisnacht comes?” Homura asked Madoka as they walked out from the mall. They had gone after school for some food and to just hang out; Sayaka had gone to visit Kyousuke at the hospital, Hitomi had another lesson, and Mami was also busy taking care of some things, so it had just been the two of them. 

“A little,” Madoka said, turning to look at her. “But with Mami leading, we should be able to beat it!” She looked up wistfully at the sky; the city lights made it hard to see any stars. Homura gave a small smile; she had to admit that she found Madoka’s enthusiasm endearing. The other girls’ cruel remarks during PE had been forgotten for the past few hours; spending time with Madoka always managed to lift Homura’s spirits.

The sun had set over Mitakihara, casting long, black shadows over the street. Homura clutched her chest, her eyes darting back and forth at the splotches of darkness that were slowly growing. She still couldn’t get the memory of being trapped in the Witch’s labyrinth out of her head. To think that there were unspeakable horrors like that, just hidden in the corners and crevices of the city! After her experience, she couldn’t even think about willingly going into one ever again; whenever her friends went on their hunts, she stayed outside or far away. She even thought about all the people in the city, unaware of the existence of Magical Girls, of Witches, and wondered if it was good or bad that they had no idea of the war brewing beneath the glamour of the city.

“Oh, no, I didn’t realize it was getting late,” Madoka said. “I guess we lost track of time.”

“Well, it was a lot of fun,” Homura said, smiling softly.

“I even forgot to call my mom and tell her I wouldn’t be home early,” Madoka said, facepalming.

“I’m sure they’ll just be happy to have you home,” Homura said. She looked down. “You’re lucky to have them.”

The tone in her voice seemed to catch Madoka’s attention. “Oh, what I meant was—“ the pink-haired girl began to say, realizing she may have been a bit insensitive to her parentless friend.

“It’s okay,” Homura said, flashing her friend a smile. “Really.” Maybe someday soon she would tell Madoka about what she knew about her parents—about her mother who died in childbirth, or her affluent father who had perished in a fatal car accident when she was seven. After being on her own for so long, Homura had accepted what had happened to her parents; it still hurt, but she was used to the pain.

“It’s getting really dark,” Homura said, trying to change the subject. “Could a Witch be out right now?”

It was hardly a cheerful subject, but it did the trick. “I’m sure of it,” Madoka said, her tone turning serious. “Witches are everywhere; for every one we defeat, there’s probably another one somewhere preying on humans.” She shrugged. “But, even so, we have to do our best to save as many people as we can; it’s what Magical Girls do, after all.”

“Just thinking about it makes me freeze up,” Homura said, looking shiftily around at every dark corner she could find. “I really want to help you and Tomoe-san when Walpurgisnacht comes, but I think I’d be terrible at fighting Witches.” She had to admit, however, that the prospect of having a wish granted had its appeal; she had wished many times for things as a child, after all.

“You don’t know that,” Madoka said, smiling again. “Who knows? You might become the best out of all of us.”

“Even if I could, I’m not sure what to wish for; there’s so much I could pick from…”

“Well, there’s no pressure for you to make one,” Madoka said, as they began to round a corner. “And besides, I’m fine with us just being friends; you’re fun to hang out with.”

_ Friends._ The word made Homura’s heart skip a beat. Madoka really did think of her as a friend; she had forgotten how warm and fuzzy it felt to be liked by someone. She wanted so badly to be friends with her forever, to always be by her side. In her heart of hearts, she always hoped to have a friend like Madoka again, even though she was afraid of somehow losing her. “I like being your friend, too, Kaname-san.”

“Homura-chan…” Madoka said, half-whining. “You can just call me ‘Madoka,’ it’s perfectly alright.”

Before Homura could respond, a familiar voice beamed itself into both their minds.

_ “Madoka-chan!”_ Mami’s voice cried out. _“There’s a Witch in the industrial area! We have to go there now!”_

_ “I’m on my way, Mami-san!”_ Madoka thought in return. She turned to Homura.

“Homura,-chan, I’m sorry, but I have to deal with this,” she said. “You’ll have to go home on your own now, okay?”

“No,” Homura said. “I want to come with you.”

Madoka blinked and stared back at her.

“I want to be there when you fight,” the brunette went on. “I don’t want to be afraid of Witches; and, and… I can’t just stay home knowing that you’re out there fighting with your life on the line, Kaname-san!”

“Homura-chan,” Madoka said, bewilderment in her voice. “Are you sure that’s what you want? It’s dangerous, you know.”

Homura clenched her fist. “If my friends can face monsters like that, I could at least try to do the same.” She stared intently at Madoka.

Then, the pink-haired girl smiled and took her hand in hers. “Okay, if you say so,” she said. “Let’s go hunt a Witch!” 

***  
_“Having a hard time sleeping, Homura-chan?”_

_ Homura turned to see Aiko sit next to her on her bed, the springs creaking as she did so. Next to her she placed a lantern, its dull glow illuminating the two of them. Homura had been staring out the window, out into the night sky, at the stars. She had thought all the other girls had been asleep by now._

_ Homura shifted in place, hugging her knees to her chest, leaning forward. “Just been thinking about stuff, Aiko-chan.”_

_ “Is it about Naoko-chan?”_

_ After a brief pause, Homura nodded. Naoko had been in the orphanage for less than a year, and had already been adopted; she had left the orphanage earlier this afternoon. Homura had seen girls like Naoko leave with happy adults, off to their new lives in better homes. For the past two years she had seen adults come and go—none had seemed interested in her. Probably, she suspected, because of the hassle her heart problems would cause. It didn’t matter if she was sweet or well-behaved, they probably wanted to just avoid getting close to a girl who might drop dead very soon. And so Homura had gotten used to being passed over again, and again, and again._

_ “Don’t worry about it,” Aiko said, patting the brunette on the shoulder. “I’ve been passed over many times, too; you get used to it. And think of it this way: you’re at least getting closer to the people who will adopt you someday.”_

_ “How can you be so easy-going about it?” Homura asked. “I keep thinking about it, and it just makes me feel more and more like there’s something wrong with me…” Even when her dad was still alive, she had felt that he didn’t want to spend time with her; he was always busy at work, and never seemed to take much time off. She suspected, deep down, that he had blamed her for her mother’s death._

_ “Well,” Aiko said after a bit, “Remember what Sister Hanako told us during our lesson?”_

_ “Don’t sneak in snacks while we study?”_

_ Aiko playfully nudged Homura on the shoulder. “No, silly,” she said, though she couldn’t hide the smirk on her lips. “The other thing, you know, about how God closes some doors so that others will open?”_

_ “…”_

_ “What I’m trying to say is, just because things aren’t working out now, it doesn’t mean that they won’t get better later. You just have to have faith that God knows what He’s doing. He’s got a plan, you know.”_

_ “You really think so?” Homura asked._

_ “Don’t you?”_

_ “… I don’t know.” They had had many lessons, teaching about God’s love and how nothing happened without His knowledge, but Homura was not so convinced. She had gone to confession numerous times, admitted to the priest the doubt that was in her heart, and had done all the Hail Marys and everything else that was demanded of her to earn forgiveness, but it all felt empty. Hollow, to her. _

_ “Well, just don’t let today get to you,” Aiko said, smiling. “Besides, look at it this way: there’s still a lot of time for us to spend together, until we get adopted.”_

_ Homura smiled at this. If there was one ray of sunshine in her time at the orphanage, it was having Aiko to keep her company. The two did nearly everything together—played games, studied lessons, all of that—and it made Homura feel less lonely, even as other kids still found her weird. “Yeah,” she said, “That’s true.” Just as she said that, something in the night sky caught her eye._

_ “A shooting star!”_

_ Homura rushed to the windowsill just as the celestial object in question blazed across the heavens. She closed her eyes immediately._

_ “Making a wish?”_

_ Homura opened one eye and smiled at Aiko. “Uh-huh,” she said, smiling._

_ “What’d you wish for?” Aiko asked._

_ “If I tell you, it won’t come true!”_

_ Aiko playfully rolled her eyes. “Fine, you win.”_

_ The two of them said good-night to each other shortly after that. Homura silently prayed, more as a routine than out of actual conviction, but it was what the nuns wanted, so she did it anyway. As Homura tucked herself into her bed and held tightly onto her Clara-chan, her wish was still fresh in her mind:_

I wish Aiko and I would get adopted by the same family, and be together forever.

***  
Black and white. Inside the Witch’s labyrinth, all other colors appeared to have faded. Far off in the distance, the Witch’s lifeless body lay on the ground, dark liquid pouring out of its corpse. Homura clutched her chest, half-afraid that the shock of what she had just witnessed would cause her heart to give out, and half in horror of the possibility of losing someone close to her.

As the labyrinth warped and faded back into the familiar evening air of the city, she rushed towards her friend, who was currently lying on the ground. “Kaname-san!” she screamed.

She knelt by Madoka’s side and helped her back upright. “What were you thinking!?” the brunette said, her voice a mixture of fear, concern, and anger. “You shouldn’t have gotten too close to the Witch, it nearly killed you!”

“I’m alright, Homura-chan,” Madoka said, her voice groggy. “Don’t worry…”

She looked down at Madoka’s Soul Gem, and her eyes widened.

“Your Gem…” Homura said, horrified. “It’s turning black. Tomoe-san! Kaname-san needs a Grief Seed!”

“Hang on, I’m coming,” Mami said, and Homura could hear the sound of her feet running up to them. Within moments, Madoka had taken the Grief Seed and purified her Soul Gem, which now shone a bright, pure pink once again.

Homura hugged Madoka tightly. “I was so worried,” she said, “I thought I was going to lose you…”

The Witch had been ferocious, attacking with a legion of vines that stabbed and wrapped around any who dared oppose her. The Witch herself remained in the distance, silently praying in the shadow of an enormous monstrance. Both Mami and Madoka were long-range fighters, relying on their muskets and arrows, respectively. It had been difficult to get through the vines, to get a good shot of the Witch and deliver the killing blow. In the end, Madoka had rushed into the fray, while Mami dealt with the vines, and fired the final shot to kill the Witch, but not before sustaining a few blows herself.

And all this time, Homura had watched the battle from the sidelines. She had potential, Mami and Kyubey had told her earlier that night. Mami had decided that tagging along would help acclimate her to what the life of a Magical Girl would entail. “Besides,” the blonde upperclassman said, “The more the merrier, after all.” Homura had thought that her time trapped in a Labyrinth would prepare her for another one, but it had not. She looked on in fear as her friends battled the inhuman beast, getting tossed around and jabbed at by its numerous Familiars. It was Madoka that Homura was the most worried about; back when she had first seen her friend fight, she had thought she was the most amazing Magical Girl ever. Now, seeing this battle, she realized just how inexperienced Madoka was, especially compared to a seasoned Magical Girl like Mami Tomoe. 

_ Kaname-san can’t go on like this,_ Homura thought to herself as they headed to Mami’s apartment for tea and cake. _Even if she wants to help others by being a Magical Girl, she’ll die soon enough if she keeps on fighting! It wasn’t right!_ Why did she have to keep putting herself on the line like this, risking her life battling such monstrous creatures? There had to be a way for her to stop; some way to free her from this burden!

Homura froze; a thought came to her head: What if she wished for Madoka to no longer be a Magical Girl? That would work, couldn’t it? It didn’t matter if Homura had to be the one to fight Witches, she didn’t have family that waited for her at home, and as for friends—deep down, she knew that she wasn’t worth much in the long run; there would probably come a time when even those close to her drifted away. Such was what she was used to; she had learned to enjoy what she could, and to try to hold onto what she had, as much as possible.

“Tomoe-san,” Homura said later on while they were enjoying their after-battle food. “I... Think I know what to wish for.”

Madoka had excused herself to talk to her mother; they had decided on having a sleepover at Mami’s this evening, as it was too late already, and she had to tell her parents about their plans.

The blonde upperclassman finished sipping her tea and placed the small cup on her equally small plate.

“Really now?” her senpai responded, giving her an encouraging smile. “That’s interesting, Homura-chan; tell me more!”

“Well…” Homura said. “It’s not for me, though… It’s for someone else.”

Mami’s smile shrunk a bit. “Someone else?”

Homura nodded, unsure of whether or not to continue, feeling she was crossing some sort of line.

“That’s interesting!”

The two girls turned to where the voice was coming from; Kyubey scurried on the ground with his white paws, jumping onto Homura’s shoulder. It looked at Homura with his beady, red eyes. “It’s perfectly okay to make a wish for someone else, Homura Akemi,” it chirped. “There’s no rule against it; in fact, it’s been done, many times before.”

“R-Really?” Homura said.

“Thing is, though, you have to be careful about those kinds of wishes,” Mami said, a serious look on her face. “It can be a little tricky when it comes to wishes like that.”

“What do you mean?” Homura asked, her heart suddenly feeling heavy.

“Well, the thing is,” Mami started to explain, “When you make a wish like that for someone, is it because you really want that person to be happy, or something else?”

“S-something else…?”

“What I mean is, are you sure you just don’t want that person to be grateful to you?”

It was just a rhetorical question, just Mami posing a hypothetical, yet Homura immediately piped up from it.

“N-No, that’s not it at all…!” she said, louder than she intended. “I-I just want her to be safe…”

“Her?” Mami asked, raising an eyebrow.

Homura felt her cheeks suddenly redden. “Um, I-I mean…” she said quickly, before dropping the sentence completely.

There was an awkward silence between the two of them, and Kyubey didn’t seem like it wanted to add anything else.

“Sorry I took a while, guys!” Madoka said as she ran up to meet them. “What did I miss?”

Homura felt like the tension in the room was slowly lifting.

“Um, nothing,” Homura said, glancing at Mami.

“We were just talking,” Mami said. It seemed their previous conversation was done for the time being.

***  
_“She’ll see you now.”_

_ Homura rushed into the hospital room, Clara-chan in hand, up to the bed where Aiko lay. Her friend had become scarily thin in the past few weeks, her skin pale as well. Her long hair was now gone, too, the result of the chemotherapy she had gone through. As Homura looked on, Aiko stirred, her eyes slowly opening to look at Homura. “Homura-chan…” she said, her voice barely a whisper._

_ “Aiko-chan,” Homura said, her hands gripping the metal handles of the bed. “I came here to visit you.”_

_ “Thank you, Homura-chan,” she said, giving a small smile._

_ Homura spent the next few minutes telling Aiko about what had happened at the orphanage since she had been admitted to the hospital. She told her about the meals they had had, the activities they did, and the lessons they learned in school and at Mass._

_ “It’s not the same without you, though,” Homura added. “We really miss you, you know.”_

_ “Sorry,” Aiko said. “I wish I could be there with you and the others; well, maybe not with Eriko and her friends.”_

_ Her laughter at the end of that sentence was noticeably weaker than usual._

_ “Yeah, you need to come back soon,” Homura said, smiling at her. “When are they letting you out?”_

_ At that question, Aiko’s smile vanished. She seemed to be searching for the right words to say._

_ “Oh,” Homura said, feeling like she said something wrong. “S-sorry, I guess it’s going to be a while…”_

_ “I’m not leaving the hospital.”_

_ Homura froze. “What? What do you mean?”_

_ “Homura…” Aiko said tentatively, “The doctors, they came to me. They told me…” She looked down._

_ She didn’t have to finish her sentence. Homura tensed up, grasping onto the blankets on the bed. “No,” she said. “You don’t mean…”_

_ Aiko turned to face her. “I’m… Not going to last much longer.”_

_ “Aiko-chan, no!” Homura pulled her friend into a tight hug, tears beginning to form in her eyes. “Why…?” she squeaked out. “Why is this happening…?” Homura had known Aiko was sick for a while now; she had prayed constantly that God would let her friend be healed, and not let her be in so much pain. She hoped—deep down—that it would work. It had to work. So why wasn’t it?_

_ She felt Aiko embrace her. “I know,” Aiko said, her words choked out as well. “They said it’s only a matter of time before I…”_

_ “Don’t say that!” Homura nearly screamed. “You can’t die, not you; I can’t...” Her throat felt like it was full of cement. “I can’t lose you, too,” she finally managed._

_ They held each other for a few minutes, tears falling as they cried together, finally, Aiko spoke up._

_ “It’s okay, Homura-chan,” she said, letting go of her friend and wiping her tears. “It’s okay… Remember what Sister Hanako told us?”_   
_ Homura stared at her, streaks of tears still pouring down her cheeks; she said nothing, not in the mood to crack a joke._

_ “Our time here is only temporary,” Aiko said. “And death isn’t the end for us… When we die, we go to Heaven to be with everyone else we know. That’s where I’m going.”_

_ “But, you’ll be there,” Homura said. “And I’ll be…!”_

_ She clenched her fists. “It’s not fair!” she said. “This can’t be happening… I _won’t_ let it happen…!” She had no idea how she would prevent it, but she just knew she couldn’t let this happen._

_ Aiko gave her a weak smile. “Things will get better for you,” she said. “If you’ve gone on this long, then that must mean God has something bigger for you.”_

_ “The same God that let my Mom and Dad die, that gave me my heart condition?” Homura rambled, unable to hide the bile in her voice. “The same God that’s… That’s letting you _suffer?!_” She remembered the lessons they learned in class, and on Sunday Mass, but she couldn’t accept it. Couldn’t imagine that this was part of a bigger plan, not after all that she had been through._

_ “You’re upset, I get it,” Aiko said. “I don’t blame you; I couldn’t stop crying when they told me what was going on.” She adjusted slightly in her bed. “But I’ve thought a lot about it, and… I think I’ll be okay. Before I know it, I’ll be with God, and maybe I’ll see my parents, too.”_

_ “But I don’t understand it; I don’t think I’ll _ever_ understand it,” Homura said._

_ “You will someday,” Aiko said. She reached out and wiped the tears from Homura’s eyes. “Just, promise me that you’ll try to make more friends.”_

_ “I don’t want other friends, I want you!”_

_ “I know, but our time together is coming to an end, Homura-chan,” Aiko replied, a sad smile on her lips. “Thank you for being my friend; it was fun the past couple of years… While it lasted.”_

_ She took hold of Homura’s hand. “Just… Try to make other friends,” she said. “For me?”_

_ Homura sniffled a bit. “O-Okay,” she said. “I’ll try.”_

_ They parted not too long after that, Homura having to practically be dragged out by Sister Hanako, all the while silently wishing for Aiko to not leave her. Her last image of Aiko alive was her friend waving at her, holding Clara-chan in one hand._

***  
“Why?!”

Tears fell down Homura’s face as she stared at Madoka’s lifeless body. “Even if you were going to get killed all along…!”

Today was the day that Walpurgisnacht had descended upon the city. It rode on a storm, a fierce supercell, without a care for the destruction it caused; it was a force of nature, and Mitakihara didn’t stand a chance against its wrath. The city’s only hope had been in two Magical Girls, one of which now lay half-submerged in the watery waste, her eyes shut permanently. Mitakihara was in ruins, destroyed buildings and debris everywhere. Water flooded through the city, and rain poured from the sky; the remnants of a terrible storm. The world hadn’t ended, but by the looks of things, it may as well have.

She had begged Madoka to run away with her, after seeing the Witch effortlessly kill Mami, but the pink-haired girl had refused, determined to do her best to save the city. And now here she was, dead.

“It wasn’t worth saving me, if you’re not alive!” Homura screamed, before another bout of sobbing overwhelmed her. “I want you back…!”

Her mind was in a whirl, a mix of sadness and rage. First Aiko, and now Madoka… She cursed God for dangling the chance of having a new friend in front of her, before snatching her away. She cursed Madoka for being selfless to a fault, to the point of giving her life, before immediately hating herself for being angry at her now deceased friend. Above all, she cursed herself, for being such a useless waste, for not being there to fight by Madoka and Mami’s side.

She was so busy crying over Madoka’s body that she almost didn’t notice the voice talking to her.

“Is that really what you want, Homura Akemi? Would you trade your soul to have a wish like that come true?”

That voice; she recognized it. It was one that she had grown accustomed to in the past few weeks. Still she couldn’t stop herself from crying, and didn’t bother looking up. That didn’t seem to matter to the creature, though.

“If there’s something you want badly and you’re willing to accept a destiny of battling Witches,” Kyubey continued, “Then I can help you get what you want.”

Now she looked up, her eyes meeting Kyubey as it sat atop some leftover debris, staring down at her with that permanent smile on its face. Her mind began to whir at its words, at what it offered. “If I make a contract with you, would you really grant me any wish?” she asked.

“Absolutely! You have more than enough potential,” the white creature said, its voice as chipper as any other day, as if nothing that had just happened had affected its outlook on the world. Homura envied its indifference to things. “So tell me, what is the one wish you’ll have that will make your Soul Gem shine?”

“I wish…” Homura began, before pausing to glance at Madoka’s corpse. She was at a crossroads, one of those moments where one’s life would change forever. Here she had the chance to have her friend back; she thought about her original wish—she could make it so Madoka was no longer a Magical Girl, and no longer had to take on the burden of fighting Witches. But deep down, she knew that that wouldn’t be what her best friend would want; Madoka seemed to be happy helping out by fighting Witches, it didn’t seem right to take that from her. No, if she was going to have Madoka back, it would have to be different—if anyone was going to change, it would have to be her.

Taking off her glasses and wiping her tears away before putting them back on, she stood up to face Kyubey. “I wish that I could meet Kaname-san all over again,” she said, determination rising within her. “But this time, instead of her protecting me, I want to be strong enough to protect _her!_”

What followed next happened so fast; first, she felt a pain in her chest, like something trying to burst out of her body. She closed her eyes and clutched at her chest, her knees buckling, but she refused to be forced down; she had to be strong, to be able to endure pain just like Madoka had—and would once again. A bright, purple light appeared before her, and Kyubey spoke again.

“The contract is complete,” it said. “Your wish has overcome entropy. Go now, go and unleash your new magical power!”

She opened her eyes and held her new Soul Gem in her hands… The energy it radiated was unlike anything she had ever felt before; now, she knew, she had the power to fight back against fate, to change things for the better… Could she also defy God as well? Time would only tell, she supposed.

_ I’ll get it right this time,_ Homura thought as a circular shield appeared on her arm. _I’ll do what I couldn’t do before; I’ll save my friend, no matter what._

**Author's Note:**

> Homura's backstory pre-PMMM is a subject that many other fanfic writers have tackled in various forms, working off of various bits of information scattered and implied throughout the series. I watched Madoka Magica late last year and it grabbed my attention in a way that few shows had in recent months. Inspired, I decided to take a stab at writing my own fanfic.  
This story started out, as many stories do, in a completely different form than what it ended up as. The turning point came about two or three drafts in, when the character of Aiko appeared in my mind. Born from my musings on whether or not Homura had any friends before meeting Madoka, she helped string together many of the disjointed parts of this story, making it more cohesive overall. The basic idea of her character was inspired by Helen Burns from Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre, and her final conversation with Homura is loosely based off of one of Jane and Helen's final conversations in the novel (I didn't bother re-reading the novel, however, and instead worked off of my basic memory of the scene, in order to allow myself more creative freedom). The opening scene at the soccer field, meanwhile, was initially inspired by the opening scene in Brian De Palma's adaptation of Stephen King's Carrie.


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